Why do so many think “I can’t meditate. My mind is too active?” Because meditation is often seen as a time apart from your daily life – Sit for an hour and fight the monkey mind. Even if you manage to achieve a level of calm, if it only lasts for one hour – what of the 23 other hours?
I’m not saying don’t sit and meditate. For an hour or for 10minutes it is helpful. But let’s start bringing it into your daily life. Start simple this is mind training that will grow stronger over time.
1. Choose Your Focus
Start by inserting small moments of calm throughout your day.
Meditation often involves focusing on the breath or sensations in the body — not because that’s the goal, but because it’s a way to choose your focus. It gives your mind something to hold, like a gentle anchor. Think of it like distracting the monkeys in your mind: when you’re deeply focused on something challenging, there’s no space for their chatter.
This is what athletes experience in “the zone” – intense focus that shifts them into a different state of mind. So meditation is not about emptying the mind, it’s about training the ability to choose where your attention goes.
And you can practice this throughout your entire day — not just in formal meditation.
Try this:
Pick one common event and use it as your “meditation trigger.”
A phone ringing
Receiving a text
Stopping at a red light
Standing in line
Answering a question
Every time that event happens, pause for five seconds.
Take one deep breath and, in your mind, count to five.
Example:
1 — inhale
2 — exhale
3 — inhale
4 — exhale
5 — inhale
During that pause, notice one small physical sensation — the phone in your hand, the feeling of standing, the air around you. Then silently add a mantra like, “I want peace,” or “I want to be happy.” If your event trigger involves another person the thought “How can I be helpful” is a good one!
And then… return to the moment.
As you practice, you can eventually insert this pause before any interaction — before someone speaks to you, or before you respond.
Keep your mantra broad and meaningful. Something like “I want to feel peace” — not “I want chocolate.”
These tiny practices, repeated all day long, will have more impact than an hour sitting cross-legged trying to battle the monkeys. You’re training your ability to focus. And that will bring a natural calm to your day.
2. Watch the Mind
Start watching your thoughts like you would watch files on a computer.
Imagine you can drag and drop each thought into one of two folders.
And once it’s in the folder, it’s not deleted — just saved for later.
This relaxes the mind. It’s not being ignored, just not needed right now.
You can name the two folders one of these pairs:
Past & Future
or
Love & Fear (A loving thought brings peace a fear thought is stress or worry about something that might happen or something bad in the past you are recalling now into the present)
or
Ego & Peace (Put the ego thoughts into the ego folder and stay focused on the thoughts that feel good/peaceful)
The goal isn’t to stop the monkeys. It’s to realize they’re not helpful right now.
You’re not trying to control your thoughts by force — that doesn’t work! You make them stronger and are basically telling yourself they are in control and not you. They’ll quiet down when you stop being interested in them.
We get pulled into thoughts out of fear.
That’s why the “Love or Fear” sorting can be so revealing.
You start to see just how many of your thoughts are actually based in fear.
And by fear, I don’t just mean dramatic things like death or danger.
Fear is in the everyday:
“I forgot to move the laundry from the washer – it’ll get smelly.”
“I need to remember to buy milk.”
The ego is terrified of forgetting, losing control or making a mistake. That’s its constant hum.
But these thoughts aren’t helpful until you’re actually able to act on them.
So during meditation, you can mentally archive them:
“That’s fear.” Or “That’s the future.”
You’ll come back to them later — right now, you’re not interested.
3. Decide What You Want
Before you meditate, ask yourself:
What do I want to feel?
Peace?
Joy?
Energetic?
Presence?
Lively?
Choose a feeling, not a thing. Not something in form — something in spirit.
This is the real idea behind a mantra.
It’s not just a phrase you repeat — it’s a decision you mean.
Then, as you sort through your thoughts during meditation, you can return to that intention to remind yourself what you want.
A thought arises. You label it, then remind yourself:
“I want peace.”
Meaning: I choose peace. I don’t need that other thought right now.
If you watch your thoughts enough, you stop getting sucked into them, the monkey mind quiets on it’s own. It is YOUR mind afterall! Your choice to not believe them and follow them is recorded by the mind and it generates only what you want. When it generates monkey chatter and you think, “agh I can’t control this it’s too much” you are literally choosing to have them by saying it is not you who is in control of them and they are stronger than you.
Over time, you’ll realize — the power was always yours.
Not to stop the thoughts. But to stop following them.
And to gently, lovingly choose again.
